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There are many ways to check in on the mental health of a friend or colleague, not only this R U OK? Day, 8 September, but any day of the year.
Since its inception in 2009, R U OK? Day has looked to foster and empower meaningful conversations about mental health among Australians in an attempt to reduce the number of suicides — which can be up to 3,000 per year across the country — committed each year.
The not-for-profit organisation explains that “by starting a conversation and commenting on the changes you’ve noticed, you could help the family member, friend or workmate open up”.
Before starting a wellbeing conversation with a friend or colleague, it is critical to ensure your own mental health is fine — to ensure you are ready to listen actively and provide the time required to properly help. Moreover, R U OK? outlines how preparation is key — especially understanding that if a person’s headspace isn’t in a good place, then you may not be able to “fix” their problems.
It’s also important to understand that individuals may not feel ready to open up.
Timing your query is also key, with the organisation also advising picking a right moment to ask. A good time may require a private and comfortable location with enough time to chat properly.
When the time does come for the conversation to occur, it’s crucial to be relaxed, friendly and concerned in your approach, utilising phrases such as “how are you going?” to initiate a conversation before mentioning specific things that have caused you to become concerned.
R U OK? then advises that you “take what they say seriously and don’t interrupt or rush the conversation”.
“Don’t judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them and if they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence,” it said.
Following from this, individuals are then encouraged to take action, posing questions such as “what have you done in the past to manage similar situations? How would you like me to support you? What’s something you can do for yourself right now?”
It’s also paramount that the person doing the asking maintains a positive position on the role of professionals — and is encouraging of the individual to seek professional assistance.
The organisation’s final recommendation is to continually check in with the concerned individual.
Keep in contact with them, make sure they are doing well, and keep checking in to see if they’ve found a way to manage their situation.
Above all else, remain genuine with your concern, with R U Ok? emphasising that it can make a real difference.
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